Message to parents

his is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended! This is the
message that the Maroochydore High School Queensland , staff voted
unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine . This
is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about
because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be
responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school
and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing
grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent
15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough school work to
pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please
listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your
newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable
and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that
it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and
have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.