Saturday, January 30, 2010


Yes 40 years I have been married to Val I started courting her when I was 17 so I have been with her 43 years. So much for those who say marriage doesn't work, what it needs is work and by God she had to work on me.

Marriage is the Bedrock of Society without it we drift into anarchy which we are doing now. Not all Old fashioned institutions are bad. Belief in God, Family and Country can not be that bad a virtue

Martin Clarke Sittingbourne

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Homo Police Officers

Your article “Force proactive in Gay rights” with a smiling Chief Constable worries me and confirms what I have expected that the Police Force no longer recruit on ability but on Political Correctness. The Police are there to protect society and uphold its laws it is not an organisation which should be orchestrating Social engineering. The recruitment of a Police Office should be on their ability to do the Job irrespective of their sexual orientation, religious beliefs, sex or ethnic background. This Chief Constable should resign if he is deliberately employing Homosexuals in a positive discrimination manner. The standard of Policing has been on the decline in the last few years and if our Chief Constable is employing sub standard Police Officers it is not a surprise


This was sent to me thought it may be of interest even more reason to take up Sombo/Sambo

Hi all,

I recently attended the IJF World Masters event in Suwon , Korea where the new IJF competition rules were used officially for the first time.

A copy of the new rules sheet is attached and 60 examples intended to clarify the changes can by found on the IJF website or by accessing this link -

At the referees meeting the main point of discussion centered on the interpretations around the hanso kuma ke exception where one player has a “cross guard” grip and other having the ability to attack the legs in this situation.

When we reviewed the 60 examples supplied by the IJF Referees Commission a number were no longer considered hansoku either because there was a cross guard situation or the example was not particularly clear. The numbers of these examples to be excluded are: 23, 25, 27, 29, 31, 39, 40, 44, 46, 47, 49, 50, 51 and 53.

In addition we were instructed that when the “cross guard” grip was taken with no immediate attack the player taking the grip was to be penalized with a shido. This is a departure from the existing rule relating to non standard grips where referees allow 5 seconds for the player either to attack or change to a standard grip.

I trust this helps clarify some of the confusion caused by the examples given and I am happy to answer any further queries you may have.

Dave Browne

IJF Referee


Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Friday, January 22, 2010

Am I preaching?

On Friday I watch a discussion programme with Matthew Wright on Channel 5 which was very good, one of the discussions was VIDEO CLIP: Who'd wed a man who used to be gay the discussion was obvious but as the discussion moved on, several other things were said 1) What has a person sexuality got to do with anyone else in my opinion nothing 2) Who would want to wed a Homosexual Man no one I would have thought 3) there is no such thing as a normal relationship? This is the one that made me see red as all the presenters seem to agree with this as did the audience. According to the Collins Dictionary NORMAL = usual, regular, common, typical. So therefore I am right in saying that Male/Female sexual relationship is normal a Male/Male or Female/Female sexual relationship is not normal. Bring up children in a Marriage Relationship is normal, outside of Marriage is not normal (This could change if more people remain unmarried and have children) bringing children in a Homosexual relationship is not normal, so why can not these liberal Guardian reading presenter and their guest not admit this.
I believe in Marriage and I believe it is the best way to bring up children as expert opinion proves time and again, so I believe we should aspire to Marriage. That does not mean I do not accept on occasions that single parents do a good job a few do and before you all say want about widows or what of a man or women who has been deserted by their respective partner I realize there are casualties in what I believe and society should help and protect them that what Christian countries do.
The word Partner with regard to a couple living together outside of marriage is used in the same tone as you would introduce your Wife or Husband yet one (marriage) has taken solemn vows most probably in Church or some other religious place and most certainly under the eyes of the law. Partner would mean something if they had signed up to be partners rather then just shack up together.
GAY this used to mean feelings of being "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy"; what right has Homosexuals to take this beautiful word and use for their own Political ends. Why not use the correct word Homosexual
Bullying of Homosexuals: on my Twitter Group I have been asked to follow someone called stonewalluk it seems she is a big noise in Stonewall the Homosexual Pressure Group, it seems that these people believe everyone that believes in what they do are OK and those that don’t are Neanderthals let me put down my thoughts on Homosexuality
1) Is it a normal sexual act NO
2) Should it be banned NO what someone’s does in Private is their business
3) Should Homosexuals be victimised in the work place CERTAINLY NOT if they can do their job their sexuality should not be an issue but they should not get preferential treatment which they now getting
4) Have Homosexuals equal rights NO they have more rights then Heterosexual which is a disgrace, would I be allowed to have a Heterosexual sports Team NO, Would I be able to have a Heterosexual Pressure Group NO yet there are GAY football/Rugby Teams, they have a Gay Olympics, Gay Police group and so. What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander
5) Is a civil partnership right yes as along as applies to everyone not to those of a particular sexual orientation i.e. Homosexuals? If two men live together for a long period share everything etc if one dies then the other should have some legal rights because of their long term relationship but then so should brothers, sisters or Male and Female couple who have lived together in the same way but do not share any physical contact.
6) Should Homosexual be allowed to Marry Certainly NOT
7) Should Homosexual be allowed to adopt children NO children need to be brought up in a normal environment
So what do you think I am a hate filled Homophobic or am I Homo realist who doesn’t agree with everything but still believes in the Live and Let Live, hopefully I am the latter but then I am 60, married for 40 years have Children and Grandchildren and am a Christian in this day and age that must make me enemy No 1

Martin Clarke

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Illegal Immigrants welcome in UK thanks to Nu Labour

Let me see if I've got this right…




This is so true...
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A Burglar broke into a house

A Burgler broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around,

looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin,

clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more ,

after a bit, he shook his head and continued..

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he

could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,

looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room,

his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,

'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh?

Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.'


I have posted this one before but still worth reading again

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks..

Separately, Rudd angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote:
I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. '

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here... You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves in Canada & USA , WE will find the courage to start speaking and voicing the same truths. Don't forget to say "Merry Christmas"

If you agree please SEND THIS ON and ON, to as many people as you know

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


To: Jack Straw, Ministry of Justice & Keith Bristow, Warwickshire Police

Police Constable Pete Doherty is an officer in the Warwickshire Police force. In August 2006, he was wounded in an area not protected by his stab vest, penetrating his abdominal cavity. This happened when he tried to arrest Mark Connolly, 25, during a robbery on a news agents. In an act of unselfish bravery, PC Doherty pulled the crow bar out of his chest and attempted to chase Connolly before collapsing. Connolly had thrown the 2ft-long spike from the stolen car he was in with such force that it pierced PC Doherty's body, lodging eight inches into his chest.

The officer was left fighting for his life and was only fit enough to return to work with Warwickshire Police eight months after the attack. He suffered a perforated bowel and now needs a colostomy bag.

Connolly got eight years in 2007 for GBH, burglary and aggravated vehicle taking. But he was let out on an unsupervised day release on Friday to launch an appeal against a driving ban for riding in the stolen car. The 24-year-old also leaves Spring Hill open prison, Aylesbury, Bucks, once a week to attend a college course. PC Doherty, who was left disabled, was "devastated" by the news.

Mark Connolly is also due to be released on probation in 2011, at the half-way point of his sentence. He has already enjoyed a number of other day releases from Spring Hill jail near Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire. A source close to the case said he had also enjoyed a week???s home leave/holiday from the jail.

This is petition is to:

Keith Bristow, Chief Constable of Warwickshire Police. He is also Head of the Association of Chief Police Officer???s (ACPO) Crime Business Area, and the ACPO lead on the Government???s Tackling Knives and Serious Youth Violence Programme, and the chair of the G8 Law Enforcement Group.


The Right Honourable Jack Straw, Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice

We, the undersigned, hereby respectfully protest at the hitherto lenient treatment of the dangerous, convicted criminal Mark Connolly.

We protest that PC Pete Doherty's brave efforts in attempting to protect and preserve life, and in ignoring, in the name of Justice, the immense dangers he was exposing himself to, have gone largely unrecognised.

We protest at the British Justice system which rewards the likes of Prisoner Connolly for their heinous, anti-social contribution.

We protest that the immense costs caused by Prisoner Connolly to PC Dohery and his family, The NHS, the Courts, Warwickshire Police, and the Prison Service, Police morale and indeed the entire fabric of British society.

We protest that the needs of the British people, entrusted to you in your respective positions, whilst being protected by the likes of PC Doherty and his colleagues, are being willfully neglected by you.

We The Undersigned, request an urgent and immediate inquiry as to the current conditions of the UK Justice System, and specifically those that pertain to Prisoner Mark Connolly and the unfair, unearned leniency given to him.

We The Undersigned request that Prisoner Mark Connolly serve his full term sentence, in an institution more suited to assess his behaviour, and in particular, his propensity towards reckless violence.



Someone asked me the other day, 'What was your favourite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called ‘home,'' I explained. !
'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, Never wore jeans , Never set foot on a golf course, Never holidayed out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. There was no such thing as a school run, I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

I remember we had a television which was really a piece of polished furniture, the screen seemed about 6” square, 12 inch screens were considered big.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 11pm, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 5 p.m.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Nothing was delivered to your home except milk and bread, by what we called a milkman in an electric milk float. These would be considered very green these days and the only electric vehicles on the road.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 6AM every morning for about 60p a week.

No such thing as C.V’s, you walked into a company and asked for a job, if they like the look of you you got it, if you misbehaved in the first week you were fired, no comebacks

Kids under 17 did not argue with adults, they were not allowed an opinion, they did exactly as they were told

Misbehave at school and you got the cane, no arguments, you would be caned again.

Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

My first burger was a “Wimpey”, however, you had to sit down on a chair, at a table. Then a waitress asked you politely, ”what would you like”. Your food was brought to you on a plate and you were also provided with a “knife and fork”. But the strange thing is……you paid for it after you had eaten it!!!!

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

How many do you remember?

Car Headlight dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches were on the dashboard and there was a magazine shelf underneath.
Using hand signals for cars without indicators.
You had to pull the “choke” out to start the engine
MOT’s hadn’t been invented.
One license covered everything on wheels.
Bicycle clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Leaving school at 15
The days before health and safety, when you relied on common sense.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

1..Sweet cigarettes
2.Coffee bars with juke boxes
3.Home milk delivery in glass bottles
4. Party lines on the telephone
5.Newsreels before the main feature film
6.TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 1 channels [if you were fortunate])
7. Peashooters
8. Andy Pandy
9. 78 RPM records
10. Hi-fi's
11. Tin Baths
12. Blue flashbulb
13. Cork popguns
14. Wolseley, Riley, Austin, Morris, Triumph and Vanden plas, made Motor Cars
15.. Sweets actually filled the wrappers
16. Washing machines with wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 11-15 =You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends

Monday, January 18, 2010


We all knock the USA but who are the first ones at World Wide disaster like the recent Earthquake yes the USA Where are the RUSSIAN ? The Chinese? the Oil Rich Muslum Countries, It seems these oil rich countries can biuld the tallest hotel in the world and creat new Islands but are theyb sending Billions to Haiti? No it is the Christian USA who is doing it

A Freind sent me the video below I wish the UK could have someone who could speak up for our troops like they do in the USA
Posted by Martin Clarke at 5:41 PM

Monday, January 11, 2010

Labour to Ban Music License

Gordon Henderson has hit out at Government plans to abolish the long-standing exemption from music licensing rules enjoyed by charities and voluntary groups.

Mr Henderson has warned that the small print of obscure new regulations reveals that churches, village halls, charity shops and sports clubs across Swale will be hit with unexpected new bills if they hold events with recorded music or if they play a radio in the background.

To date, voluntary groups have not had to pay for a so-called “PPL” performance rights licence in order to play recorded music. This exemption reflects the public benefit that such organisations provide, but this is now being abolished by the Government.

The new levy will affect church worship, charity discos, tea dances, youth clubs, dancing groups, sports clubs and even charity shops which have a radio in their staff room, and will come into effect in April 2010 once the new regulations are ratified by Parliament. In an effort to protect local voluntary groups Conservatives will oppose these changes.

The Government admits that the new levies will cost voluntary groups £20 million a year. Some organisations will “cease playing music” because they cannot afford a licence, and it will hit a quarter of a million organisations – 140,000 charities, 6,750 charity shops, 66,440 sports clubs, 4,000 community buildings, 5,000 rural halls and 45,000 religious buildings.

These new levies are on top of bureaucratic rules imposed by the Licensing Act 2003, which requires expensive ‘premises licences’ for village halls to hold regular small-scale social functions, and which has imposed new red tape to play unamplified live music.

Mr Henderson said:
“This is a kick in the teeth for the voluntary sector. Local charities and groups have had a tough time in recent years. They have struggled to cope with endless red tape and the effects of the recession. This will simply increase the pressure on them.

“I sometimes think that the Government won’t be satisfied until it has totally destroyed the fabric of traditional British community life. Having effectively shut down post offices and local pubs across Swale, Labour’s Whitehall bureaucrats now have our village halls, scout huts, charity shops and churches in their sights.

“This is a heartless tax on community groups and we are going to fight it all the way. I make this plea to the Government: Please don’t stop the music.”

Sunday, January 10, 2010

When is a Pikey not a Pikey

This article below is relevant with regard to the planning application of a Caravan opposite the crematorium in Bobbing, The article which said that Residents were up in arms about Gypsy camp was I feel provocative as it suggested some sort of big Gypsy Encampment but after reading the article it refer to a Mobile Home and one caravan. My own personal opinion is if you want these people to conform and stop being a nuisance to society you must allow them some where to live. The problem is not the Gypsy but the Planning authority who refused permission for a permanent residence yet gave permission for a temporary one, this is what makes me angry when the rules are not applied fairly and equally.

Rother District Council should hang their head in shame and voters should ask is this the correct way to spend Council Tax payer’s money? I refer to the Mail on Sunday article:
Businessman is arrested in front of wife and son... for ‘anti-gipsy’ email that he didn’t even write

Paul Osmond made a comment about a gipsy planning application and for that he was arrested at home in front of his wife and young son over an email which council officials deemed ‘offensive’ to gypsies – but which he had not even written. What was the offending word “LIKEY” because it sounds like “PIKEY”. He wrote a letter about a planning appeal made by a Gypsy and, included the phrase: ‘It’s the 'do as you likey' attitude that I am against.’
For those of you who do not what a PIKEY is it is a term which refers to Travelling people from the 19th Century an old sense of Pike “a road on which a toll is collected.
For using the word LIKEY he was arrested by the Police, threatened with handcuffs, imprisoned for 4 hours and had is computers confiscated. Ask yourself the question how much did that all cost?
So what happened to free speech? The Council Official who authorized this arrest should be sacked and I would suggest if anyone on the Council Staff knows the name of this individual they should pass it on to the local newspaper.
As for the Police this only proves yet again the we are living in a POLICE STATE and the POLICE are the weapon of the Political Establishment and can no longer be called the Guardians of Law and Order
So presumably I can have a PIKEY/GYPSY/Traveler arrested for calling me a GORGER house dweller?
The Gypsy has more rights then a House Dweller and this can be seen with there total disregard to planning laws, although a Gypsy may have a strong claim to be classified as ethnically different from other sections of the dominant Anglo-Saxon Community the same rules must apply to them as it does to everyone else.
I know many Gypsies in fact my son’s godfather is a Romany and I respect some of there customs and not all are bad, but what I object to is when some one buys a beat up old caravan and goes on the road they are called travelers and come under the same category as a Gypsy which is insulting to them These HEDGE BUMPERS are nothing but the dregs of society who want a free ride at the expenses of the Tax Payer.
Martin Clarke Sittingbourne

Saturday, January 09, 2010

OLYMPICS more foreign labour

London Olympics will be a mill stone around our necks and for what? to attract more people into sport this is not happening. Seb Coe said the Olympics would create more work it has but not for British Workers. Of Course bring foreign labour they will work for a bare minimum sleep 6 to a room and the Construction Companies make an even bigger profit and when they the work runs out they will stay on and live on benefit. When will learn to put our people first A vote for Labour and Government of Traitors is a disgrace to this country So much for being proud to be BritishRead more:

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

This was sent to me by a friend I wonder if we applied the same to our illegal immigrants the same would apply

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Sign petition and letter from SAS hero

This is about the Islamic intention to carry empty coffins through Wooton Basset in protest at the respectful reception given to the bodies of our BRITISH HEROES.
It is from Robin Horsfall who was one of the SAS team that stormed the Iranian Embassy during the siege.If I was younger and fitter then I would certainly be there to display my disgust if this Islamic march is allowed to go ahead.
Please read the message and if you feel like then pass it on,and protest to your MP as I intend to.

The letter:
It's about time that we as British people who are grossly offended by this proposed march start to stand up for what we believe in instead of bashing our gums and whining on e mails. This march is designed to offend and create conflict. We need to organise in the same way and make it clear to the authorities that we as a nation will be prepared to confront this march legally or illegally to show the depth of our feeling. We must be prepared to use local machine operators to close access to the town on the day in question. Local farmers and construction workers need to be contacted. Local businesses should be encouraged to close to deny fuel and sustenance to "visitors". We must be prepared to block any agreed marching route with people and vehicles. We must show these offensive and provocative people that the sleeping lion that is British secular tolerance has had enough. Just as the scum of the BNP were not welcomed in Wooton Bassett so too should the scum who will travel from across the UK to create trouble falsely in the name of "Islam" be rejected. I for one will be prepared to confront this appalling insult to our troops who are of all faiths. I will stand in the middle of the road and I will resist any effort to move me. It would be a shame to do it alone. If the police and local authorities choose as they have done in the past to defend this type of provocation on the grounds of political correctness and do not want to offend a minority group of one other faith who support extremism then they (the authorities) need to know that there are consequences to offending us the majority, the British multi faith people who are proud of our freedoms and our troops. We too have the freedom to protest and to create disharmony and upset. We too have freedom of speech. We deserve to live in a country that holds these rights as fundemental freedoms. We don't want criminals marching on our streets and selling their extremist support of the enemies of all decent free thinking people. We don't want marches that support murder and oppression without expressing our right to express our disgust. If paedophiles marched under the banner of "freedom of speech" would that make it right? Why then can the support of terrorist murderers who have killed our troops be allowed under the same banner. So I challenge all of you to be there with me. No masks, no weapons and no shame, smartly dressed and wearing military regalia where appropriate. Just British bulldog spirit and pride in what we believe in. Good manners, tolerance, freedom of worship and speech, good government and the right to self defense. Don't let others do it for you. It's time to stop whining! Make your protest to your MP now and if he fails to put a stop to this vile affront to our dead and wounded soldiers then be there! Please forward this e mail on.
Robin Horsfall

Balls promises all pupils lessons in Mandarin and Arabic

Balls promises all pupils lessons in Mandarin and Arabic

This the Labour Education Minister Edd Balls talking a lot of !!!

I speak German it was my mother tongue and I travel the World for my sport and I rarely need a translator most people I deal with speak english if they do not the first time I meet them within a year they have learnt English. The only nation I have found who refuse to speak English are the French. English is the International Lanquage so why waste a childs schooling on something they will never use I can see the point of learning French because a lot of International Organisation use itRead more:

Monday, January 04, 2010

Another Break-in at nobbysgym

Another break-in at Nobbys Gym

Yes another Break in by some half wits, why do I say half wits well all they stole was a set of 15 kilo Dumbbells. As some one who is well known in the town I will eventually find out who it was and they must know that. Now if I believe in an eye for eye philosophy one would wonder how long will it before they get good smack but NO I expect our marvellous Police Force sorry Police Service will catch them, pause for a minute as I saw a camel going through an eye of a needle and they will be punished with a jolly good bout of community service, So there is no need for retribution on my behalf.
What is most annoying the alarm goes of and our caring neighbours do not even report it so we are told? So now we have the expenses of linking our alarm to my telephone so when it goes of I can rush down the Gym and hopefully catch any future thieves and give them a very stern talking to

Martin Clarke Nobbys Gym

A few Jokes to lighten the mood

With Gordon Brown threatening to wait till June for an election I thought a few jokes sent me may lighten the mood

There were twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter", told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"He said, "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other. "Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman.Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"So they wiggled up close to each other."Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus," said the photographer.YET AGAIN - "WHAT DID HE SAY?""HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out, "Me first!"

If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Cherie Blair,"whatever you do don't open it....

It contains a nude photo of Cherie Blair.

Press Release: Union Negotiations Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.

Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."
Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?"
Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden. Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like's too much to swallow". Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren. Spokespersons in the North East of England, Swindon, North Kent and the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

Sunday, January 03, 2010

A very funny true ad from the USA


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27,1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,

Illegal Immigrants-Quentin Crisp-Queer East Enders

I recently wrote an article which was sent to the Press which we now take for granted will not get printed about the Job situation and how foreigners are getting jobs that should go to Brits, now we find out that Government Departments including Councils, NHS Trusts (many of them in Kent) are employing illegal immigrants, God what has this country come to when tax payers money is used to keep British people out of work and give people who are hear illegally work? One further point if they are here illegally they will not have any social security number and will not be paying National Insurance contributions.

Over the Christmas you are inclined to watch programmes which would not dream of watching any other time one of this was about Quentin Crisp “Englishman in New York” this was a great pieced of TV. This was the second part of life Quentin shown on TV the “Naked Civil Servant” was the first shown over 20 years ago. Quentin was a flamboyant, camp Homosexual he was called himself “Britain’s stately Homo” he never hid what he was and way back in the early 60’s would be beaten up regularly for it, “Queer Bashing” was quite common then. No I have not suddenly turned into a cringing white liberal supporting the course of Homosexuals on then contrary, I still can not understand the need for same sex intercourse, I still find the act a perversion, I totally disagree with Same sex Marriage and most importantly I think it is an absolute disgrace that Homosexuals get preferential treatment in this country. Yet I can understand why people like Quentin Crisp were persecuted for what he was, this man had not hurt anyone even if you do not agree with his life style that is not a reason to stop it. In New York he found acceptance he was of many unusual people and flourish well giving shows until he upset the Pink Mafia because he would not fall in line with their Political Crusade, a Film worth watching.

I also caught the last part of East Enders a programme I despise it is the most depressing programme on the TV but with the wife watching this rubbish I was also forced to watch. For once the story line caught my attention it was again centred around Homosexuals, it seems TV is obsessed with sex especially Homosexual sex. The story line was a predator Homosexual had been chasing a Muslim guy whom he seduced on many occasions, making the latter admit he was Homosexual. Problem being was he was to marry and on the day of the wedding the first male meets the Muslim and tells him not to marry but be true to himself and come out. The Muslim replied it was not just about him it was about his religion, what he would do to his family, his future wife and any children he desperately needed. In these days of selfishness and everyone being encouraged to be self centred this was like a bout of fresh air, here was Young man putting himself after everyone else, realising that the universe is not centred on you as an individual it is about the group as a whole. Not many are like this in what I thought was a very Christian Act and by the looks of it a Muslim one as well.

Martin Clarke Sittingbourne

Friday, January 01, 2010

Metric Martyr

Yes People are still being victemised by Councils for using Imperial Measurement

Gordon Brown is a traitor to the British People

He promised to bring British Jobs for British Workers yet it has been reported that the number of foreign-born workers has rocketed by 22,000 during the worst recession on record. At the same time, the number of British-born employees slumped by 625,000.
He and his Government put the interest of foreign workers before his own people. Roll on the election and get rid of him and his lying Government.

Martin Clarke Sittingbourne