Thursday, February 17, 2011

A couple of Jokes from John Elmer

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked

"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you

are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the

Afghan Desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a

camel hitched up behind the mess tent.

He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there. The nervous sergeant

said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.

Sometimes the men have urges.

That's why we have Molly The Camel.'

The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand

about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'. Crazed With

passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a

ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants

down and has wild and insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asked

the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'

'No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls


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