Two Zimbabweans are on a bicycle about 15 miles outside of Manchester.
One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help, and the Zimbabweans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Zimbabweans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them back into town and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way.
By this time he is really late and so puts the hammer down and sure enough, a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The lady officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies "Zimbabwean eggs." The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look in the trailer.
She opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. She gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible plus the Swat Team.. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that require so many officers.
"I've got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Zimbabwean eggs in it. Two have hatched and they've already managed to steal a bicycle.
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.
"O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.
"No, no boyfriend either."
Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I`m not attached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman,
"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black."
"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porn film.The lead man was black."
"Oh, I`m very sorry,"
says the midwife,
"that`S really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy."
"Oh, I`m sorry,"
the midwife repeats, "that`S really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has
"Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this, the midwife again apologizes, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give the baby a slap on the butt.The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,
"Thank god for that!"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved,
"I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark."
The midwife Fainted......