My Daughter is now divorced but after several years of in-fighting with her ex Husband which has cost her £15000 in legal fees and him we think about £20,000 for him some questions have to be asked
Her ex husband cheated on her having an affair with older women a grandmother at that. He offered to break of the relationship but still continued eventually he admitted he no longer want to be married to my daughter and left the marital home, leaving my daughter to fend for her and his 2 children. Not a very nice thing to do but things like this happen and although my wife wanted me to go and give him a good slap I said no. That would not solve anything and in the long run she would be better of without him as was never the best of Husbands. For those who know me they will be quite shocked how sensible I was.
What I do not understand is his attitude to his own children it took some time for my daughter to get regular payments for his children, when she did she got a pittance as being self employed he came up with some clever accounting. He now pays somewhat more still not enough in my opinion, is this normal for a Father to try to avoid his obligation to his own children? The main reason years after her divorce there is no final split is the House which they were both purchasing and this where the legal fees have gone, initially I offered him a large sum as a one off payment he refused. As he want to sell the house and have 50% of the equity, when it was pointed out that he would make his children homeless as the 50% equity for my daughter would not be enough for a deposit for a house and she did not earn enough for a large mortgage. His answer was that is not my problem go and rent a one bedroom flat on the Isle of Sheppey? So now the greedy legal profession are involved and the bills start piling up as there were several court cases with Barristers. First he wants 52% equity of the house when his son reaches 18, so my daughter pays for the house for the next 12 years and then only 48% that will not happen the court say a 40-60 split would be just but she (the Judge) told them to go away and negotiate which was nearly impossible with the ex. The next courts case is in February and hopefully this fool of an ex will see some common sense.
My main point is that a bad divorce can fuddle the Brain and common sense goes out the window. If her ex had agreed to take my original offer, which was a fair one, he would have had money in his pocket enough for a deposit and would have saved himself £20,000. So who has gained by his ridiculous behaviour of course the legal profession and there only thought is the money, the losers have been my daughter and that fool of an ex husband. Surely £35,000 would have been better spent on his children. I have helped finance my daughter but her ex has funded his legal fees himself, just shows how much money he has.
So if you are getting divorced try and act rationally I know it can be hard but it could save you a lot of money and heartache