Friday, July 17, 2015

Enjoy Wine

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine
and those who don't, and are always
seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 liter of water each day,
at the end of the year we would have absorbed
more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually.
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine &
(or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
because alcohol has to go through a purification process
of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine & beer and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of Shit
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over sixty, who gives a ****


I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, 
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." 
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." 

   When you are over sixty, who gives a  ****

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman 
was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try." 

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose 
patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said,  "Yesterday." 
When you are over sixty, who gives a ****


I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty, who gives a ****


I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so." 

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

When you are over sixty, who gives a ****


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