Your opinions are terrible so clean your nets

Since I was 20 years old I have written letters to the papers and latter years I have written a Blog. I am somewhat forthright in what I say and write, so I have developed a thick skin. So it comes as no surprise that I get replies opposing my ideas and convictions on the whole most are as a debate putting alternative views, which I enjoy but to be fair to my myself nearly 90% of the replies support my views.  Yet every now and again you get the anonymous letter or email and very occasionally you get damage to your car or building the latter being about 3 occasions in 44 years. The anonymous letter write is a coward who does not have the courage of their conviction. Today I received another anonymous letter which I have reproduced below. This is the most hilarious one to date.

The cowardly writer tell me I am forever pontificating, I suppose that could be true of some of my letter could be pontificating which for the letter writers benefit means pompous and dogmatic. Although I think many are not although I think my opinion matters I value you others. This letter writer instead of attacking the substance of my many letters (remember nothing has been printed of mine in the Sittingbourne paper for nearly 2 years) they go on to attack the state of my tenants curtains and the standard of the Waste Bins. This letter arrived on my birthday(a day that reminds me I am a year older) and I have never laughed so much in ages, the writer goes on to say on behalf of the many people who walk past.

I give you a scenario 

"Here have you seen that 118 East Street that where that bloke who writes all those letters lives. Who does he think he is giving people his opinion. Look at the state of the nets and those bins how can anyone like that write a letter? I very tempted to walk on the other side of the road oh no can not do that there is an indian Takeaway with that disgusting smell of cooking food' They walk away slipping in some of their dog dodas and dropping their Kebab

Lets have your address so we can examine your house and the name is Clarke

Now who do we know who would send such a letter???